Why I Left ATCO

Recently, while attending Gateway Association's Mayor's Luncheon, I had the honour to hear Sumana Jeddy speak. She spoke about workplace wellness and burnout. It resonated with me in a way that I wasn't expecting.

Those who know me know that I loved working at ATCO Electric in terms of their culture, my coworkers and their value system. ATCO Electric is an incredible employer; they're a beautiful example of inclusive employment, in case I didn't make that clear by talking about them for an hour at the Mayor's Luncheon!

I spent a long time being hard on myself for leaving ATCO. I felt stupid for leaving such an amazing company with amazing pay and incredible coworkers. And, truthfully, I never really understood why I left until Sumana gave her talk at the Mayor's Luncheon.

The word is burnout. I burnt out.

The truth is, no matter how incredible or accommodating an employer is, burnout doesn't really care about that. Burnout leaves you feeling empty. For me, the best way I can describe it is feeling like an assembly line worker.

I would get up, go to work, do my job, go home, eat, and sleep. Repeat. There was no joy or fulfillment in what I was doing. There was no passion or excitement about my work. I wasn't present at home, and I could feel it. My wife could feel it. She told me after I quit that she felt like she got her husband back.

Even typing how I was feeling, remembering the roboticness of my job, it makes me feel physically ill. And again, it had nothing to do with the people or the culture at ATCO. Absolutely nothing.

Thinking about it now, I think that guilt I felt for quitting is due to a very toxic traditional ideology that you have to stay at a good paying job because it pays the bills. Your mental health should never suffer because you need to pay the bills.

Your mental health is, in my opinion, more important. Because if you don't take care of yourself, you aren't going to be there to pay your bills. So, be kind to yourself.

Be kind to yourself. Be kind to yourself because your health matters, your happiness matters, and YOU matter!